Sometimes something will cross your path several times before it catches your attention. Such was this book. In three different ways over the course of a week this title showed up in a conversation, a podcast (that had nothing to do with the book) and another book I was reading. I’ve only just started reading it, but it already has my interest peaked.

There is another book by a different author with almost exactly the same title, so make sure if you choose to read it, you get the one by Daniel Goleman.

The Areas of My Expertise

Angels Flight: A Harry Bosch Novel

The Talent Code on Amazon

Trunk Music by Michael Connelly

I started reading this a few weeks ago but it was too soon for me. But I’m finally looking forward to the long read of somebody I really respected and admired.

Steve Jobs

The Last Coyote (Harry Bosch)

The Concrete Blonde (Harry Bosch)

Moonwalking with Einstein: The Art and Science of Remembering Everything

A Stolen Life

How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

It’s been just over a week since we returned from CA, and I finally have time to take a breath and add more details about our trip to California. As I mentioned previously, we feel it went very well.

Preamble

Skip this if you just want to know about Dr. Goldberg

It ended up being a long week for many reasons. Not bad, just LONG.

First, we’ve had a small leak in the bathroom for the last 5 years (seriously). A few days before we left I finally had a plumber come out to fix it, only to find out it was not the plumbing, but the tiles on the splash wall of the bathroom were falling off and has been running behind the tiles all this time. Not so good. So not the quick fix I was hoping for, but the bathtub needs to be re-tiled, which involves removing the shower walls and being without a shower for at least a few days.

I was able to quickly find a trusted home repair service to take the job on, and they even came in with a reasonable bid. But then the more we talked it through, I realized that our crappy bathroom floor also needed to be replaced, and it just made sense to do it all at the same time. Fine – now it’s WAY more money than what a simple leak would cost to fix, but at least it’s being done while we’re gone (in both CA and MI), and will minimize the time we have to go without a shower and toilet.

The only problem ended up being that they had to start on the bathroom the day before we left for CA if it was all going to be done by the time we returned.  So, a day before we were supposed to leave for CA we had to get a hotel room near the airport so that we had a working toilet and shower. It ended up being a very nice night/morning and it was fun to stay with Max in a hotel room. He didn’t know what to make of it, but he seemed to enjoy it. Seeing things that area old experiences to you through the eyes of a child that’s doing it for the first time is always so fascinating and enjoyable. It’s one of the most enjoyable parts of having kids.

The next morning (Tuesday August 2nd) we went to the airport for our direct flight to CA. It was very interesting watching Max. You could tell he was just taking it all in. We took a train from the long term economy parking lot, waited in a long security line, and then still had 2 hours to wait for our flight at the gate. During that entire time he was very good. Amazing actually.

When we got on the plane he sat between both me and Brenda and was clearly very nervous. First by the noise of the plane, and then by the movement as we taxied to the runway. We each had a hand on his legs and he stayed calm as we took off, and enjoyed a snack and short nap during the flight. For it being such a long day for all of us, he really did great and was in a good mood up until we got to the hotel and had to wake him up in the back seat of the rental car.

The next day (Wednesday the 3rd of August) was the big day. We took a short side-trip to Santa Monica Beech and then headed to our appointment with plenty of time to spare.

Meeting Dr. Goldberg

We were both nervous and excited about meeting Dr. Goldberg. We had already read his book and felt that we knew a lot about him, but we just didn’t want to expect too much from our first meeting.

Dr. Goldberg runs a regular pediatric practice out of his LA office, but on certain days sees only parents of autistic children, like us. Most come to him because they too have read his book and are curious. Many are from the LA area, but people travel from around the world to meet with him.

Our time with Dr. Goldberg consisted of a very relaxed, informal meeting in the lobby of his practice. This seemed a bit odd at first, but the benefits were clear pretty fast. Max had plenty of room to run around and play, and there was a separate room attached that had plenty of toys to keep him busy. While the 3 of us talked, Max played and occasionally ran up to us to get attention for one thing or another. Brenda and I took turns keeping him out of trouble and dealing with his OCD with light switches.

It was clear right away that Dr. Goldberg had personally reviewed the entire pile of information we had sent him in advance. He had made notes of things he wanted to discuss with us and had mostly wanted to clarify or expand on some of the information we had provided. This spoke volumes to me personally. I have switched doctors several times over the years, and the vast majority of the time my records were never reviewed before my first meeting. It’s always obvious by the questions they ask. One doctor didn’t even know I was Diabetic until I mentioned it to him. RED FLAG! I didn’t have him for very long before I switched again.

Over the course of 90 minutes we talked at length about how Dr. Goldberg has spent years refining his treatment protocol, and how Max may fit into his course of treatment. At almost every turn, Max fit into what Dr. Goldberg calls NIDS (Neuro Immune Distress Syndrome). This condition is based largely around the idea that after a child was born, their immune system was compromised. The causes can be anything or everything from environmental to viral. For a normal healthy child with a well developed immune system, many of these things would not be a big deal. But for a child that has a compromised immune system, it stresses out the body. At some point, the child is actually considered “sick” because the body can no longer carry the stress. When this happens, many of the symptoms that I child presents with are very similar to Autism. In part this is because in recent years something that is otherwise unexplained and has some symptoms similar to Autism, it’s just all lumped together. And as we know first hand, once your child is labeled as autistic, pretty much anything that goes wrong after that is just attributed to your child having autism, and little interest is taken in it. But if Dr. Goldberg is right, a great number of children that are labeled as autistic are not suffering from a congenital neurological problem, but are actually sick. Sick in a way that can be treated. But nobody in the medical community seems to be interested in hearing that.

The other important thing to note is that there is no definitive test to diagnosis your child as autistic. It’s very subjective and based on one or more people’s opinion after spending a hour or so with your child. When Max was diagnosed, there were about 6 people in the room with us that evaluated Max at the time, and they had to have a private meeting for 20 minutes after evaluating Max to decide as a group what to tell us about him. The point is, it’s not black and white in most cases.

So after answering all of the questions, Dr. Goldberg was confident that Max fit his definition for NIDS, so we are now following his treatment protocol, which we started on Monday the 8th.

There are two major components of the protocol. First, the diet is very restricted. He can have meat, most vegetables and a few fruits (no tropical fruits). The major things to avoid are gluten, dairy, sugar and grains. Color dies are a big one as well. In fact, we have to actually remove the blue diet that’s on his medicine before he takes it because many children have negative reactions to food coloring (it’s considered an allergen). All of this may sound like a pain in the butt, but the fact is we’ve been doing 95% of this for a year now (all thanks to Brenda and all the research she’s done on nutrition). So we only had a few small adjustments to make.

The second part is the medicine. Working on the theory that he has a virus in his system, he is now taking valtrex. While this on the surface seems like a radical treatment, it’s easy to find many examples of families talking about how their child was greatly improved by this part of the treatment alone. However, in many cases the child gets worse initially before they get better. I mean this in the sense that they become even more irritable than before, and we have already seen this with Max. He’s much more hot and cold with his moods, and when he’s having a melt down it’s more intense and lasts longer. But on the flip side of that, he has been showing more eye contact this last week and has been more verbal. He’s talking more, and saying new words almost daily right now. Se we are seeing some real positives.

One amazing thing about our visit with the doctor is that we were allowed to both video tape and record audio of our visit, with no restrictions at all. I wasn’t even allowed to have a camera in the delivery room when the kids were born because of hospital policy! If I had to guess as to why he’s so relaxed about this, it’s that Dr. Goldberg wants to get his message out to people. He’s interested in helping as many people as possible, and the only way to do that is to make the larger medical community and parents aware. It’s only through parents putting pressure on the medical community that things will ever change. I have since had our entire meeting transcribed into a text document so that we can review information that was discussed just by doing a word search on the document.

You may be wondering how we can be seeing a doctor and doing such a radical treatment when we’re over 1,000 miles away. There are several ways that it’s possible.

First, Brenda sends weekly reports as requested by the office. They provided a form with specific questions about all aspects of how he’s doing. After they receive the report, the doctor reviews it and the nurse calls Brenda back with any new instructions or changes for the upcoming week.

Second, every 4 weeks we will have a conference call with the doctor, just as if we were there in person and discuss all of the particulars. We also have the option of doing a video call over Skype, which we plan to do.

The next course of treatment after the Valtrex will be decided later after we see how he responds to this part of the process. It can take up to 3 weeks to see significant changes, so we have some time yet.

After our 90 minute meeting with the doctor we were taken into one of the exam rooms where they withdrew about 23 gallons of blood from Max for a variety of tests (ok, maybe only 8 gallons but it seemed like a lot for such a small kid – but he was fine).

After screaming through the entire thing, Max was pretty tired and exhausted. Think about what a pain that would be for a 3 year old. First you have to play by yourself for 90 minuets while your parents more or less ignore you, and then you’re rewarded by being held down and having your body drained of all of it’s blood.

We ended the day by getting max to bed and letting him relax. I think he really enjoyed having a big bed all to himself. He liked when we would tuck him in under the covers every night.

Time to Head Home

We all had a good night of sleep and headed out the next morning with plenty of time to get to the airport. We had about 3 extra hours (by design), so decided to head down to the Hollywood Walk of Fame for a little sight seeing and lunch. We had a great time and we were both reminded how nice it was to just have a single child to focus on and shower with attention, instead of feeling so split with our attention.

After taking in the sights and having lunch at Mel’s Diner (which was awesome) we started our leisurely trip back to the rental car place by the airport. And that’s where the low point of the trip took place.

Sorry About Your Car

I’ll get into the details in a future post (it has gotten very interesting in the last several days) but i had a accident with the rental car. Nobody was hurt and I’m very thankful for that. Especially since I caused the accident. The rental car got the worst of it but was for the most part drivable. We were only a mile and a half way from the drop off location when it happened (another good thing because the freeway would have been out of the question).

So we ended our trip to LA with a big BANG. Like I said, more on that later. This post is already way longer than I expected.

NO SHOWER FOR YOU!

While we were waiting for our flight I called to check in and see what the stays of our shower was. Things were moving along great, however due to a few small problems that had to be fixed along the way, it was not going to be ready when we got home. So, as much as we didn’t want to spend even more money on hotels, we decided to get one close to the house for one more night. We checked in at 2am on Friday, and were up and on the road heading to MI for the weekend by 10am the next morning.

We had a great (albeit very short) visit to MI and collected our other two children from their week long visit with Grandma and Grandpa Tomchak. They both did great in our absence and it was nice to know they had such good bonding time with their cousins as well.

On Sunday afternoon we returned to our semi-remodeled bathroom, and it was A-W-E-S-O-M-E. What we had was so bad for so long that it was hard not to really appreciate the new one. I say semi-remodeled because we didn’t do anything with the crappy walls, crappy bathroom door, or crappy fixtures. We just didn’t have the money, and after all this was a LEAK that had to be fixed. We were already way over budget.

We were so thankful to have Avalon Home Services take this job on. Not only did they make great suggestions and do things to save us money along the way, but they went above and beyond by fixing a few things in the bathroom and not charging us, bringing in the mail every day, and even taking out the trash on trash day. Seriously, they were awesome. So a big thanks to Cathy and Steve for all of their hard work while we were gone. They worked hard to make sure everything was done by the time we got home on Sunday and after the week we had it was not under appreciated! If you’re in the Chicagoland area I can not recommend them highly enough.

What’s Next?

In 2-3 more weeks we will have decided, along with Dr. Goldberg, what our next step with Max is. We are still cautiously optimistic and know that we’re doing the best we can to help Max. The funny thing is, I got the feeling during this trip that Max knew that as well. I really felt like I bonded with him on this trip and got choked up a few times while playing with him on the bed. While he’s very tough when he’s “in a mood”, he’s just so sweet, loving and funny when he’s well. We just love him so much.

More in coming weeks. Sorry this is so long, but I wanted to get it all down before too much time passed.

]]> http://tomchak.com/blog/2011/08/17/the-goldberg-visit/feed/ 0 http://tomchak.com/blog/2011/08/01/new-book-black-ice-by-michael-connelly/ http://tomchak.com/blog/2011/08/01/new-book-black-ice-by-michael-connelly/#comments Mon, 01 Aug 2011 15:28:54 +0000 Thomas Tomchak http://tomchak.com/blog/?p=3668

I read (listened) to a part of the book today that I really wanted to share. If you’ve been curious about the book but not sure if it was for you, now is your chance to listen to a short 20 minute clip from the book. My guess is you will be inspired by it and want to read the rest of the book.

As much as I love this book, I will admit that reading and understanding what he’s talking about is far different than implementing it in your own life. I aspire to be an example of all the teachings of the book, but admit it will take a long time. Maybe the rest of my life. But even small steps along the way are good ones and at times, life changing.

Just click on the image below to download the audio file. It will play on your computer, iPod, iPhone and most other music devices. You can also burn it to a CD.

If you decide that you like it, head over to Amazon or Audible and get a copy for yourself. Please post your comments/opinions if you do listen.

This will be my 4th time reading this book. Over the last few years I’ve gotten into the habit of reading it every spring as a way to refocus and reorient my life. It has become my spring time morning run book. While haven’t actually started running in the morning yet, I plan to this week.

And I’m happy to say that I started reading this book long before it was made popular by Oprah!

If you’re interested, you can find it here.

A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose

This is the quote. I hope that you’re inspired by it, and if so you might want to read the book.

The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment

Audio version here.

Kindle version here.

Print version here.

Kindle version here.

Audio version here.

The problem is, most of us know very little about nutrition. We hear things here and there, new reports on what’s good for you or bad for you, and often this information will conflict with other information we were told in the past. So you end up not really understanding what’s good and what’s not and for many people they just give up and eat what they want.

It’s also unclear just how powerful an effect food has on the body. Even foods recommended and approved by our own government slowly degrade your body and cause all kids of health conditions, including cancer.

We’ve all heard that knowledge is power. For me that’s especially true when it comes to making big changes that are otherwise challenging. If I can understand the details of why I need to change, or what harm may come from not changing, I can usually change on a dime and stick with it. I predict such will be the case with the new diet that I’m on with Brenda, based on the books Eat for Health and Eat to Live.

I can say without a second thought, that these two books are the most important books I have ever read. They will have a direct effect on the number of years I spend on this earth and the amount time I can spend with my children.

As you read the book, very quickly you get an idea of just how bad the American diet is in general. Virtually everything we eat is killing us, and we don’t even realize it. The health problems that are so prevalent in the US are not in other parts of the world, where diets vary widely. Everything is problematic, from guidelines that the USDA and American Heart Association put out, to the information on the boxes of the food we buy. Food is made to taste good and satisfy us in the short term, with no attention paid to what the long term problems will be. I have to admit that the information presented in these two books has really made me suspicious of the entire food system in our country.

One of the main points in this book series is that you medicine should only be used to treat illnesses only after nutritional deficiencies have been addressed. Drugs are secondary, not primary. How many times have you heard a doctor tell you that? It’s just too easy to subscribe drugs, when really the problems are rooted in what we eat. Without changing our diet, we continue to hurt our body while the drugs just treat the symptoms.

I decided to make the change after way too much time being spent tired, mentally cloudy, achey, and having a general feeling of poor health more often than not. I shouldn’t need caffeine just to function and not have headaches. And the fact that I’m diabetic means that I need to really keep my health front and center if I want to live past the age of 50 without having a major cardiac event. I was almost done with the first of the two books, and Brenda had started reading the first book as well. I had tried a few weeks earlier to get on the diet, but after a few days I feel off the wagon. This time was different. I was more determined, more educated and also decided not to take baby steps, but to go from crappy eating to good eating overnight.

To help each other out, Brenda and I decided to do the diet together. Letting yourself down is sometimes too easy, but if you know somebody else has been struggling right along side of you there’s more of an obligation to that other person. You don’t want them to be disappointed in you. It’s a powerful motivator.

So based on what I had read in the book up to that point, we agreed on a diet. To avoid any confusion later, we put it in writing and both signed it. It will help keep the details of what we agreed to in focus but it’s also hanging on the fridge as a reminder of what we’re doing. We’ve agreed to stay on the diet for 60 days, with no exceptions. None.

First stop after checking into the hotel was the local grocery store.

For example, I’m traveling this weekend and that’s normally a difficult time to stay on any type of good eating plan, but I don’t have a choice. I’ve already thought through what I am going to do while traveling to make sure I’m eating right, and not tempted to cheat because I let myself get too hungry.

We started the diet on December 30th, so it’s been just over a week now. The first several days were difficult, and to be honest the first day I really started to feel good is yesterday, the first day of week 2. It can take a few weeks for your body to completely detoxify itself.

Some of the benefits I’ve seen after the first week are …

• Need less sleep
• For the first time in a long time, I dream and remember my dreams
• I have stopped taking my insulin shots with meals, and have better glucose control
• My vision is sharper
• I wake up very easy, instead of feeling very groggy
• I’m feel like I’m a sharper thinking, especially when working. My brain just feels supercharged
• I don’t get tired as early as I used to (it used to be around 7pm, it’s now closer to 10-11pm)

Some down sides of the first week while detoxing…

• VERY IRRITABLE. I’ve never been so trigger happy crabby in my life.
• Several days of headaches that just wouldn’t go away (but are now gone)
• Very, very, very tired. At times it seemed like I just couldn’t get enough sleep.
• Body aches. I actually felt like I was getting the flu (this is not uncommon).
• Breaking old eating habits are more difficult than the diet itself.

As the weeks go on I will post progress updates. But more than any other time in my life when making dietary changes, I feel like this is a change that I will keep for the rest of my life.

If you are tired of being tired, having aches and pains, managing a chronic condition or just want to feel younger and more energetic, I would strongly encourage you to read the books. I was hooked right from the beginning, and I think you will too.

What’s that? You don’t have time to read books? NO EXCUSE… because it’s available in audio form as well. Download it and play it on your computer, iPod, iPhone, Android phone, or any other MP3 player. Listen while you drive, grocery shop, clean house or work out. There are always times throughout the day that you can put on a pair of headphones and listen.

If you have read the books yourself, feel free to email me with your thoughts. I feel like this is a book I want to give to everybody in my life to help them live longer and better.

Pay new employees $2000 to quit. Make customer service the entire company, not just a department. Focus on company culture as the #1 priority. Apply research from the science of happiness to running a business. Help employees grow both personally and professionally. Seek to change the world. Oh, and make money too.

Sound crazy? It’s all standard operating procedure at Zappos.com, the online retailer that’s doing over $1 billion in gross merchandise sales every year.

In 1999, Tony Hsieh (pronounced Shay) sold LinkExchange, the company he co-founded, to Microsoft for $265 million. He then joined Zappos as an adviser and investor, and eventually became CEO.

In 2009, Zappos was listed as one of Fortune magazine’s top 25 companies to work for, and was acquired by Amazon later that year in a deal valued at over $1.2 billion on the day of closing.

In his first book, Tony shares the different business lessons he learned in life, from a lemonade stand and pizza business through LinkExchange, Zappos, and more. Ultimately, he shows how using happiness as a framework can produce profits, passion, and purpose both in business and in life.

Buy it on Amazon.com

With its straightforward language and easy-is-better approach, Rework is the perfect playbook for anyone who’s ever dreamed of doing it on their own. Hardcore entrepreneurs, small-business owners, people stuck in day jobs who want to get out, and artists who don’t want to starve anymore will all find valuable inspiration and guidance in these pages. It’s time to rework work.

©2010 Jason Fried

One of the best things about buying Kindle books is that you literally have the book within seconds of buying it, without having to spend the time to track it down at a local bookstore.