1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair\u00a0Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.<\/p>\n
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise Your Voice !<\/p>\n
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with\u00a0that.<\/p>\n
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over\u00a0Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.<\/p>\n
5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ‘ For Marijuana.<\/p>\n
6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.<\/p>\n
7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.<\/p>\n
8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is ‘To Go’.<\/p>\n
9. Sing Along At The Opera.\u00a0<\/p>\n
10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend Their Party\u00a0Because You have a headache.<\/p>\n
11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream ‘I Won! I Won!’<\/p>\n
12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling\u00a0‘Run For Your Lives! They’re Loose!’<\/p>\n
13 . Tell Your Children Over Dinner, ‘Due To The Economy, We Are Going To\u00a0Have To Let One Of You Go.’<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair\u00a0Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise Your Voice ! 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with\u00a0that. 4. Put Decaf In The […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":86,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[4],"tags":[66],"class_list":["post-1315","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-text","tag-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p47XZT-ld","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tomchak.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1315","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tomchak.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tomchak.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tomchak.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/86"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tomchak.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1315"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/tomchak.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1315\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1321,"href":"https:\/\/tomchak.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1315\/revisions\/1321"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tomchak.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1315"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tomchak.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1315"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tomchak.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1315"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}